Twists of made fate

She sat there. Right there in the corner booth every night. Her brown eyes so focused on her books and notes only added to her allure. How many nights had I sat in this library dying for an excuse to speak to her? Countless. So many thoughts and scenarios ran through my brain as I pretended to study notes of my own. Could I ask for help with a problem in my textbook? No, she didn't appear to have any similar classes. Nor could I offer any aid in her subjects. Damn.

Ah, here comes the biggest problem of all. Him. So sporadic and spontaneous in his appearances. Surely not the right fit for her. How he had won her ever I will never understand. Nonetheless, there he was, blocking her. Taking her form me. Dividing me from my one ray of hope. He didn't deserve her. Of course not. He did not fit into her life. He was simply an anomaly.

I waited. Waited as he walked back to his apartment. Same streets every-night: two blocks straight down from the library, a right, and a few more streets till he reached his destination. How disgustingly routine. As I stood there on the corner of Baker and Hawthorne, I only felt anticipation, no fear. All I had to do was wait until he came across the corner, hugging the halls as he always did, and take him out of my life. Out of her life.

I dare not look as I hear his foot steps, his familiar humming and- was that laughing? What could he possibly be laughing at? Does this idiot have no idea I am here?! No, of course not. How silly of me, I need to calm down. Still, his obnoxious laughter disgusted me and only added to my anticipation. He was close now. Too close. I hugged his surprisingly light figure as he came around the corner and ferociously stabbed the bastard as many times as I could before losing y breath. I looked down to see the fools face- No! God, no!

As I gazed down, the only thing looking back up at me were those familiar eyes. Those deep, beautiful brown eyes. This wasn't right! I looked up to see him staring back me with an open mouth. I stared into his face as he turned running and screaming for help. My eyes began to swell. Here she was, finally in my arms, dying.

A Gale

Swept up in a spring breeze, his mind filled with memories of life and the lives he dreamed up so many times. With a mind always so eager for escape, he knew he had begun to lose his grasp on what exactly was real and what was just his imagination misleading him. Still he followed whatever it was he saw. To decide to live chasing a dream or living in a dream was too difficult, so he let his mind decide.

But in a world that saw him as strange, he found little comfort in society's norms. Still determined to be happy, he lived and moved through judgement, difficulties, and often embarrassment. Every night as he laid down to sleep, he would whisper a prayer so soft in hopes some god somewhere would hear him. He prayed that he would find the happiness he so helplessly chased, that something would grant his life purpose, or that he could find something to love. Each day he would wake determined that his prayer had been heard and he would seize any opportunity that presented itself to him to fulfill his prayers, but still he held some pain  and reserve of fear in his heart that he would be saying his prayer again that night.

One night as he prepared to sleep, he closed his eyes and clasped his hands for prayer, but he couldn't bring himself to utter the words he had sketched into his own heart after so many nights. Instead, he simply crawled in bed, rolled to face the wall, and closed his eyes as he sobbed into slumber. As he slept, his heart spoke to his mind. As they spoke, the heart and mind decided they could no longer live in terminal isolation from the world. Convinced to play god and grant his prayer, his mind would see him happy regardless of the price. Would it not be better to be blind but happy for a day than aware and miserable for life?

As he awoke the next morning, he felt different. The sun was especially warming on his face as he as viewed out his window this morning, the clouds were a beautiful hue of blue, and even the streets below looked more inviting than ever before. He moved through his dumpy studio apartment with the brightest smile ever seen as he prepared himself for the day. The bland cereal tasted as if it was hand prepared by gods themselves. The water on his back in the shower was especially cleansing and left him feeling pure. He did a skip as he walked out in to the street, still amazed at the glow of the sun and the cool kiss of the wind upon his cheek.

As he walked up the street, people shouted his name and hello to him as they waved with huge smiles on their faces. He would smile in return and wave back with a joy filled greeting and response. He could feel it. He could feel the love in the world he was always so sure would return to him. He could feel his value as people recognized him even though they didn't know him-

-But nobody knew him, nobody in this town had ever spoke his name besides his boss...

A sudden honk from the street snapped his attention and the driver waved with a smile. He began his walk up the street happy again, determined not to question his new found happiness.

He continued his walk up the street as the rest of the world watched this half dressed man walk down the street waving and shouting names in to empty shop windows and crowds that just stared and blinked back at him determined not to question his sanity or theirs.

Yay! Friday!

Bid deal, right? WRONG! ha, forgive my weekend kick off bitterness. I had totally planned on going to a concert, but forgot to get tickets! AH! Oh well, another night alone with the text books. Perhaps it is better this way, I have no option now but to do homework...

Who am I kidding? I mean look at me, I'm avoiding work as I type this! Once I publish this, I'm sure I'll have to kill some time on youtube, then stream a show or two I care nothing about, but by that time it'll be too late to do homework! I'll just wake up early Saturday and jump on that.

Yea, another bold face lie. I have every intention on doing it tomorrow, but I'll probably do 2 hours worth of work and spend the rest aimlessly again. Sigh, it's a vicious cycle you know. I need a drink to cope!
BARKEEP!
Some of your finest ale!

I got you a fish

I tend to dump thoughts in to the air and it always confuses me more. So I figured I'd try keeping them in text and study myself. I know what you're thinking, "Oh my word, another boring guy with a blog." Well why are you here then? I kid, I kid. Frankly, if you have somehow found this dark forgotten hole on the internet, more power to you! Well, let the games begin.

As I went to class the other day, the professor announced we'd have a guest from the police department for recruiting. As I had seen this last semester, I didn't care either way so long as we got notes off the board and let out early as usual. Well, things got a bit weirder than the last time.

This fellow introduces himself and mumbles about the pay and qualifications, big woop right? Well people start to ask about pay and he begins to talk about pay and pensions, and still no big deal. However, he started rambling about how he never envisioned himself being a police officer and I'm expecting some kind of life changing story. However, he goes on to explained how he got a bachelors in business, did a year in the NFL, and then couldn't find work for so-long after that. After more filler, he eventually joins the police out of the need for income.

Now some of you may not see much wrong with that, but it gets worse. He begins to go on about how he doesn't have to work if he doesn't WANT to. He might pull somebody over if he WANTS to. He talks about how if he really wanted to he could park his patrol car on the side of the road and play on facebook all day. The class laughs as if this is amusing as he continues to say how police give tickets because they want to. I'm sorry, but who in the hell does this guy think he is? It is people like this that ruin the system.

I have always been against people who join police and/or military branches for benefits. When I enlisted, I did so because it was what I believed in. I believed that I owed something to my country. I felt I could contribute to the bigger picture. However wrong or naive I was, I still believe at heart that service jobs like these are no place for just making a check. That is how corruption breeds and half-ass jobs are done.

Well, I guess this one has gone on too long for my first posting, (on this blog).
Oh, wait! I almost forgot! I got this for you!